Game end Joy

_{[ Many video games based on the concept and mechanics of their predecessors. Off-Brand examines those games that appeal to just too much ... inspiration. ]}

Take a look at this . Now look at this . Does anyone remember seeing these commercials on TV, when the prime minister? No, you did not. t Don 'lie. Do not 't see squat.

Let 's cut right to it - no one cared about the TurboGrafx-16. Nobody cared about the Master System, or, on the subject. In conducting Nintendo 90% U.S. market share , Those other guys were fighting for a table of the note and no one gave flying fudge.

Yes, but t that Didn "stop the mud! Here 'sa commercial comparison China Warrior and Kung fu . Oh, I want to play China Warrior Now You kiddin '? Hot hell! What have I got? You can 't out-Nintendo Nintendo, yet still tried to Hudson. If there is a game which saw a curious Spiffy NES, bee people responded with increased color options. This was the case with Neutopia . If the game were enough to Behr, in their opinion, all the kids will switch to camp!

Now TurboGrafx games on Virtual Console. Boom.

Offenders: Neutopia
Developer: Hudson Soft
Posted: NEC
Released: TG-16, 1990
Taste, like: The Legend of Zelda

Accession Alundra and Crusaders Centy Camp wannabe-Zelda is Neutopia , Surest "Adaptation" yet. In fact, it 's too true. Other names did much better differentiate themselves from the source. Neutopia doesn 't try to hide their tracks, and I not means that in a good way.

I feel some of you, moving away from me. Perhaps you played on the Wii not too long ago, with a smile on your face and lilt in your step. C 'Mo, Tony! It sa 'a great game! t Don 'be a hater! What 'with you guys? You're afraid I might have some unkind words Neutopia ? I'm afraid I might ... * Sigh *... legitimate criticism ?



Thus, some moron named Dirt, lead singer of alt metal is douchey Brit , Invades the land Hyrule ... excuse me ... Neutopia , Kidnaps Princess Zelda ... sorry ... Aurora , And plunges the world into darkness, but shit. As the hero Link ... Forgive me ... Jazeta You have to win eight dungeons ... keep on ... labyrinths , Restore 8 Triforce shards ... Here I am again, the mind in the gutter ... Medallions And restore peace to the people.

Oh yes. Magic everywhere in this bitch.



How shameless IS IT?

All you need to know in the original Zelda was there in the opening scroll . Neutopia adds nothing to this. You hear me? Never mind. Here was an opportunity one-up Nintendo at their own game, but stupid, such measures have been and always will be, and the Hudson instead of 't bother to come to the plate. No, it is called the Hudson in the extreme case of a bitter, although it "private time" in a dark corner of the dugout. Glad to see you for the competition seriously.



Besides what I mentioned above, you 've got bats and dogs with a mutant identical attack templates for Keyes and Moblins. You get the dungeon map, finding the crystal balls, collect keys to get into the vault boss cameras pick cherries instead of the heart, the evaluation of the coins instead of Rupees, and snatch an hourglass, that freezes the enemies on the screen for a moment, like a clock, that you probably, Don 'do not even remember was in the first Zelda . Only the tip of the iceberg.



You know, the ladder Zelda ? The fact that Wasn t 'so many stairs, as it was a temporary bridge? Stupid shit that no one would still have ever seen in Zelda game again, right? And so, he makes a big appearance in Neutopia like a rainbow Drop, a magical artifact that creates a bridge from the bright rainbows and joy and laughter of innocent children frolicked in the fields and my God, I think that 'm going to vomit. Really? It could not t 'hit the block? It's just was be there, is not it?

types virtues, so you must call the third one something other than "virtue," you asshats! It 's like naming a hockey team Vancouver Canucks and Montreal Canadiens! You live in fucking Canada! Redundancy is melting my brain!



Nomenclature throughout is phenomenal. Hero "Jazeta." Woo! How brave! It 's the perfect name, if you answered the casting call for To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar . K return to the last save point, you can use an item called "Wings Return . "Bombs do you wear is not a conventional bomb, and" Boom Bombs, "and not pretend that file, the God of your return features of the tax. Dirt and disgusting (I 've already covered it) is waiting for your arrival of a sinister "Climatic lock. " Climatic Castle? Tell me that did not think 'from scratch. What exactly happened? My God

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

No.



I 'm walking, exploding walls with bombs to reveal hidden doors or burning bushes to reveal a secret staircases, when I feel a strange chill down my spine. It exactly Like the original Zelda only ... pp. In all respects Neutopia is The Legend of Zelda , A graphical raise involves the examination of new concepts that never materialize. Authorities hardware does' t give a richer, more robust game, and that leaves me feeling disconnected. The original Zelda is very dated today 's standards, but at least I know that is the product of an earlier age. Neutopia do not rely on it.

all the time on each screen The wind up smaller bombs and a visit to the blood-sucking seller in the store is located God knows where.

For all lifting equipment Zelda You do not 't have many offensive options. Take a look at your status bar:



most powerful! Not cool, dude!



Using a sword is deceptively difficult, especially against enemies that jump science I say otherwise.





As though t that Wasn 'back enough to use the save, you should get "book Revival" just one screen below the starting point. Without him, the death sends you to the beginning of the game. It 's not like the' hard to find! It 's there! Why do I need to manually raise it? Why 'T and simply have opportunity to save your game? Who benefits from this? This game is not encouraging me to try to escape death?



At least, a decent win! All Zelda when the reference was to him on the shoulder and half-hearted thumbs for a job well done. Princess Aurora? "She literally throws herself at you and the team, take it here and now:



Now that 'I' m talking to 'oh! I think it just might be the only game in the history of the game where you blast the princess in the end! Well, it 's not stated explicitly, but implied, is clear as day! Makes all tests is, in any way is not it?

But seriously, t game is not so bad. I 'm just a jerk.

BRUCEPLOITATION SCALE respect for cultural symbol:

Previously, OFF-BRAND GAME:
00 Introduction
01 Power of Blazer
02 Commando: Steel Disaster
03 Net
04 Midnight Resistance
05 8 Eyes
06 Onimusha Blade Warriors
07 Conquest Krion
08 Scurge: Hive
09 3-D WorldRunner
10 Alundra
11 Chex Quest
12 Giana Sisters DS
13 Run Saber
14 Crusaders Centy
15 DuLuDuBi Star
16 Fighter with 'History
17 Robopon
18 The Simpsons Road Rage